One Year Old
|When I no longer worry about money, when I can enter a restaurant and confidently ask for mineral water instead of tap water, I will be wearing Maasai leso’s and sandals, loose attire that allows the air to circulate and circumvent. I will enroll for Spanish classes because I want to sing along to Shakira’s Chantaje and understand what she’s saying, although I suspect it’s something carnal and sensual. I might go to Italy and see Sicily. See what inspired The Godfather and breathe in the Omerta air. While there I will go to Venice. They say it’s a spooky, gray town. A fourteenth century experiment that now creaks and threatens to sink but I will still go, if for nothing to honor Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice and affirm that art sometimes goes straight to the heart and effects action.
I will look to fill the enormous amount of time I will have on my hands and maybe start an ad agency where we will write tight copy and pay our suppliers on time. Our tagline being something boysy and crispy, “Words like a little black dress.” I will have young hip employees with minds like laser beams and there will be this one belligerent creative with bushy hair that I will always be butting heads with but I won’t let him go because he will remind me a lot of myself.
Maybe I will venture into an outdoor company and hire a sales girl, hopefully one that doesn’t wear a choker. A bubbly, flirty girl with sensational customer service skills who will be going round looking for strategic billboard sites. Her mom will berate her and ask her how long she’s planning to tarmac because her shoes will always be dusty but she will look at her mum, smile, give her money for sugar and tell her it pays to tarmack.
I will have a few fiction novels and a memoir under my belt but even amidst all that growing up I will still be coming here to wax a story every Wednesday. I can see myself, snowy and grizzled in my wicker chair telling my grandson to make sure he punches publish on whatever gizmo will have been invented then. Telling him to read me the comments and tell me the names of the people engaging and maybe he will resent me for it, because he would rather be on his hoverboard, thumbing his PlayStation or whatever young folk will be into, than helping his poppa with his weekly posts but he will do it anyway because I will keep bringing up my inheritance and how I’m editing my will.
But I digress with tedious detours of my rusty dreams and churlish grandson.
We turn a year old today. It seems surreal that this thing I birthed twelve months ago has grown into this thing that brings joy to my life. Writing is not an accolade you’re given after you go to school. There are no certificates, no degrees, but I have been fortunate enough to have readers who stick a badge of validation on my pen, week after week and for that I’m thankful.
It really does take a village to raise a child and you have been my village. So thank you for coming here and reading, commenting and sharing. Thank you for liking the hell out of my Facebook posts. Thank you for changing this child’s diapers, buying him clothes when he has none and making faces every now and again to cheer him up when he’s morose. If this is a house then you are the cement that holds it together, the baluster that props it up.
I won’t bore you with blurb when you’re probably wondering when you’ll have some cake.
“Black Kennedy you want to cut the cake? Maybe Ivy can help you out as I egg on with commentary.”
Writing has been my lighthouse and albatross. There are days the pen meets you with enthusiasm, getting up gallantry to pull your chair and taking you on a trip full of mirth. Then there are days I am flooded with anxiety and paralyzed with fear at the mere thought of picking it up—‘
“Ah Ivy, make sure the effervescing readers in silhouette at the back get a slice too.”
Days when writing feels like chasing a shadow or a ghost in the dark, but even amidst that feeling, I still chain myself to the desk because you have given me the privilege of having readers and it’s a privilege I honor. I pen a sentence and ask how it can be better. Does it say what I want it to say? Do the words bring out the imagery in my head? Does the punctuation act as speech? Is this something I would want to quote?
“Ngige Jorge, do you want a Tusker to wash that slice down?”
Writing unlike courting a woman is kinder, if you love it hard enough it will love you back. But it’s unlike riding a bike or swimming because it can be forgotten, so you don’t stop. You keep at it and in the process you knock off the rust and allow the gold to get to the surface.
“Speaking of women: Rose, Joy, Lucy, Wambui, Sophia, Reeh, Wairimu Wairimu maybe you want to come to the front and prettify this place while we sing happy birthday?”
“Thuo Patrick, it’s only a one year old baby, so step away from the bucket of cold water. Yeah, step away, nice and easy. Atta boy!”
The ardent readers I haven’t mentioned, you are very much the soul of this community, talismans of sorts, even the ones who come here silently and tiptoe out without as much as a sound, Karibuni keki. We’re one year old today, so I think we can prop ourselves up with furniture and speak, even if it’s in inaudible gugu gagas’. If you have a question you want to ask drop it in the comment section and I will gladly answer.
Here’s to many more birthdays, salut!
Editor Credit: Shiku Ngigi
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Aye, you stopped submitting to brittle paper?
Brittle Paper is a nice place for a budding writer to be featured and I salute Ainehi for a great job but I’m now more focused on getting into print and being published.
Awesome stuff. Started this culture of reading late last year and for sure, I’ve been longing for your weekly posts. Happy Anniversary, Party itakua wapi?
Thanks Kiprop. About the party, every Wednesday is a soiree here, no?
“He will do it anyway because I will keep bringing up my inheritance and how I’m editing my will.”
So you have a dark side to you?
Jet black side.
I’d be delighted to cut the cake though naeza malizia wengine.
Here’s to many more birthdays Baby Kisauti….
Cheers!
I have been the avid reader whose at the far corner, just observing and being enchanted by your blog. Happy one year.
Asante Joseph. Karibu, na usikue unatunyamazia hivo.
One year old? Your works (read words) are “blowing” (read growing ) up very fast. Your blog is a steaming volcano ready to blow to greater proportions that can no longer be hidden.
And by the way thanks for the mention. I will down that cake with some “fanta orange” (Hahaha)
Asante brother Jorge, pray for us Tusker sinners. Haha
Wow! The party is so real. Happy anniversary, your work is a weekly dose to me that I’m always looking forward to.
Asante and Karibu.
I’m from Ghana and I don’t know how I chanced on your page. But reading your writing is a breath of fresh air away from a cyber space rife with daily drab of memes, viral videos and atrocious news. Happy anniversary.
Oh men, all the way from Ghana. Thank you. Side note: I think Ghana Jollof is better than Nigeria Jollof.
Happy birthday as I tiptoe louder this time.
Haha Hellen, keti chini uongee na watu.
Wow! You got a nice piece there, Wakimuyu you have something in you….
I got introduced to your blog a few months ago and I’m always looking foward to every Wednesday.
Happy birthday and never stop making my week, please… This blog keeps me sane.
Thank you Vera. When I sit down to write, something always comes up, even in those days when my pen feels dry. So we will be here for as long as God allows it.
Haha! I will try to be a nice uncle to the baby; not Uncle Jerk (this sound so legit) who throws a bucket of water at a newborn. It has been my pleasure but now that we can ask questions, Why Kisauti? I have always wanted to know.
Why Kisauti? It’s a space that gives voice to the voiceless only it does it with a bit of flair.
I have been that avid silent reader who visits and after getting entertained by your thoughts behind the pen tiptoes back to his own world of silence. I must be the most selfish man this blog has… but today I’m changing that. Happy Anniversary Tribe Kisauti.
Hey Muteti, don’t be too hard on yourself. Asante and Karibu.
I hear you king.
Thank you!
I am one of the “tiptoers” but for this I had to come out! Happy birthday Kisauti.
Sina Maneno, congratulations for coming out. Haha
I chanced by only yesterday and I get to eat keki, how fortunate! I have one word to describe you on your 1st birthday. “Cute!”
I was really anticipating a more masculine adjective but I guess cute works for now. Karibu.
It’s been an year, wow! Happy Birthday! Kumbe no wonder today’s post took so long. I love your work so much so that I always wait till Wednesday to read your work then read bikozulu’s Tuesday post. Continue keeping us enthralled by the fresh breath that is Kisauti, the e-crib.
Soph we feel the love. Thank you for making us your main course.
Happy, happy birthday. Got hooked to this blog last week and I can’t get enough. Now about this baby tumenunulia diapers tutampeleka hadi university ata kama itabidi tumeuza hizi boroti maguta maguta or do they say boroti thiagi thiagi..guessing that what the folks back in the village would say to a growing baby… Happy birthday again.. Nitumiwe a piece of the cake na DHL.
Asante Nguhi, karibu.
Happy Birthday.
Silent tiptoer here…. Congratulations on your first anniversary.
Asante Sarah. If you tiptoe any longer you’re going to turn into a ballet dancer.
I am one of the silent reader who always longs for Wednesday to come so I can be all smiles. But today I must say happy anniversary and looking forward to many more. Cheers!
Asante Ngina.
Happy one year sir! I’m such a fan
Also I cannot believe it’s one year.. May you have manay-manay more!
Thank you for being a fan, you’re the engine that turns this wheel.
*Whispering from the sidelines* Happy Birthday!!
Happy birthday to kisauti. Keep writing.
Happy belated birthday.
Ohh, its that special day, the one time in 12 months when the silent tiptoe’s get to speak. Happy birthday Kisauti. May God show you his kindness.
Thank you Tabs.
I usually tiptoe here every wednesday, get my laughter dose for the day and tip toe back out. Great job man! And happy 1st! Keep it up.
Asante Tiptoe Shirley.
I got to know about you early this year and I’m always looking forward to Wednesdays. And I have read all the old posts. Hooked!
Asante Angie. Karibu keki.
Heko! Always a pleasure.
Happy birthday kisauti, am so in love with your articles. Have been following silently and truly speaking, it’s something that I long for every Wednesday. More than words could say, I get the pic. Cheers
Thanks for the love Rhoda.
Happy birthday Kisauti. I live for Wednesdays. Thanks to you.
Asante Ikigu.
I started following your stories sometime last year and nowadays I look forward to them every Wednesday. Keep up the good work, your dreams will be validated soon. Sa hiyo keki ikam through.
Thank you Sharon. Keki? By now, only crumbs must be remaining.
(Another silent tiptoed) Great job Kisauti. We might not say it as often but we’re right behind you.
Thank you Wambui. The love is overwhelming. I see you guys have conspired to make me teary.
Happy belated birthday..thanks for recognizing us silent readers. Even if we don’t comment tuko ndani ndaaani 🙂 🙂 Cheers!
Cheers Vee.
Happy belated birthday!! Great job, always looking forward to your posts. Thank you for sharing your writing with us. CHEERS!!
Asante Bubbly Bee, hope you’re not planning to sting anyone today. Haha
Happy belated…It’s been a thrill all through! A round on me!
Happy Birthday! Found your blog last week and I have read everything, can’t wait for the next article. I love reading you with a passion. . . . I need to learn swahili though, google is not helping me a much. Lots of love from Uganda.
Thank you Isabella. Karibu. (It means welcome)