Crushing

A car crashes into another, it’s not that bad. She was rushing, he was trying to avoid her, and then a screeching noise of the breaks as they refused to hold. Screaming as if to say, “This is above my paygrade.” before the inevitable collision.

“Nobody was hurt, not even the car, perhaps the paint was scratched but if I wipe it down with a bit of saliva, it will be as good as new. It just needs a wash and you won’t recognize it.”

You are watching and listening on top of a boda boda; Rushing, blood pumping, heart beating heading to your crush. You with the short hair, short dress, short patience. Rushing, blood pumping, heart beating, sitting next to him again. In that book club that you pretend to like because of him.

You have dropped all manner of hints; Touching, your hair. Touching, him. Biting your lower lip to the point it’s falling off while maintaining eye contact. Putting, a slutty amount of y’s in your Heyyyy’s when you text him. But nothing.

“Hello, I think we should go out?” you whisper, so feebly you repeat yourself. “I think we should date!” you scream and the entire book club stares at you.

“I’m seeing someone,” he whispers but he might as well have been screaming into a megaphone because you can feel people across the continent hearing the rejection.

And you hear it again the screeching noise as the breaks refuse to hold and the inevitable collision happens. “Nobody was hurt, the heart might have gotten a bit scratched but nothing saliva won’t wipe away. Look, if you take a shower you will be as good as new.”

You are on a boda boda rushing, blood pumping, heart beating heading to your crush in that book club that you pretend to like because of him. You sit next to him and say hello, you begin to say the words, “I think we should..” and zip your mouth shut. Your whole body vibrates as you hear the screeching noise again right before you crush.

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image credit: jilbert ebrahimi